As If Christian Audigier Couldn’t Get Any Worse…
December 30, 2008, 9:59 am
Filed under: 2008, fashion crimes | Tags: , , , ,

He got that scrawled on his back.  It’s as well designed as his pieces!

As If Christian Audigier Couldn't Get Any Worse...


Fashion Crimes: Nude Stockings With Shorts Or Skirts
December 6, 2008, 6:16 pm
Filed under: 2008, fashion crimes | Tags: , , , ,

I’ve been seeing this a disturbing amount of women wearing nude stockings with shorts and skirts of late.  Now this is generally something to avoid in the spring or summer (as I assume you’re not a woman of 85), though it’s utterly abominable to do this during the Winter.

The effect of nude stockings under shorts or a skirt is that you have a bare leg; so by wearing this combination you’re actually intentionally looking like you’re inappropriately dressed for the weather!

Nude stockings are never OK, so just don’t wear them!

Fashion Crimes: All Over Sheer Dresses

All Over Sheer Dresses“Has nobody heard of a lining?”

Anyone who watched last week’s episode of Gossip Girl will Jenny ridiculing one of her socialite friend’s sheer dress choices for it’s translucency.

Not only do sheer dresses look ridiculous, but they’re a complete waste of money and material.  They look almost comically unflattering on all body types (yeah, even stick thin ones); all you have to do is check out the plastic mannequin wearing the dress to the right.  Even a plastic and perfectly firm human body looks like it has a ponch!

Sure, you could just wear a slip underneath; but you will still end up looking like you’re wearing a glorified piece of lingerie.  Just skip the sheer, you’ll be better off for it.

Fashion Crimes: Jean Print Leggings

Jean Print LeggingsHere is an example of one truly unnecessary item. With denim these days being vacuum pack tight, there is no need for hawking a legging in this design! The problems stemming from this piece are numerous; among which they encourage leggings being worn as pants (which is a cardinal legging sin in my book).

At $36 for a piece of viscose and elastine printed to look like a legitimate pair of pants, spend the extra $40 (that’s all it takes to buy a pair of jeans at Topshop anyways) and get a real pair of pants that will cover your butt and not make people cringe when they walk past you. Besides, unless you have a stripper rear that one could bounce quarters off, why the &*#^ would you want to have such a thin layer of fabric covering your butt? That is one of the most unflattering looks for women out there.

The bottom line is this: ignore these pant imposters like they’re the bubonic plague.

Things We Can Do Without: All Over Sequin Unitards
November 19, 2008, 2:11 pm
Filed under: 2008, fashion crimes, Women's Fashion | Tags: , , , , ,

Pieces like these are all par the course of having something so very 80s and gaudy come ranging back into popular acceptance, but it dosen’t mean anyone should wear them!

In this category are all over sequin unitards.  I included a close up of the mannequin bum for your utter terror; even a fake hard plastic body looks horribly unflattering in this elastine-sequin monstrosity.  Can you imagine how awful a real butt would look in that? Good Lord!

I suppose the one saving grace of this article is the relatively low $125 price tag (it’s low when you consider the amount of sequin work that would have to be done for all over coverage); though unless you’re in a circus act (or Britney Spears’ newest music video), let Topshop keep their sequin unitards.

Sequin Unitards

Fashion Crimes: The Sandal Boot

The Sandal Boot
I can’t think of a worse use for lambskin other than the creation of this thong boot. This monstrosity is being sold for $515; the amount of a car payment for a boot that won’t even keep your feet dry.

I can’t think of a more abhorrent piece of footwear (other than the reign of all hideousness; the Croc). I sincerely hope nobody will ever consider putting this on their body, even as a joke.

For creating this monstrosity, Les Prairies De Paris Les Stong = epic fail.

Christian Audigier Is Synonymous With “Loathesome”

This is the finest example of “what not to wear” I’ve come across in a while.  This sickening display of dime store quality “design” is infecting the catwalks and closets of North America, and it must be stopped. 

The one responsible for these monstrosities is Christian Audigier; purveyor of horrendous Ed Hardy style clothing that is hardly worth the cloth they cut to create it.  How this man can call himself a fashion designer when the bulk of his so-called design experience was gathered at Von Dutch completely escapes me.  I would classify this as a “bitch, please” moment.

Audigier is the style devil, steer clear of anything he has touched.