Epic Fashion Crime: Bikini Jeans

This is quite possibly the worst crime against human eyes I’ve yet to see.  This, folks, is dubbed the “bikini jean”.

I can confidently classify these barely covering bottom horrors as the most offensive piece of clothing I have ever seen!  Not only do they encourage the concept of your rear hanging out for all to see; but your UNDERwear as well.  Am I the last person in this world to consider undergarments as belonging under my clothing? Honestly!

To myself, these jeans broadcast that it’s alright to showcase my underwear because you’re going to end up seeing them anyways.  I can imagine prostitutes wearing these pants, as well as [sadly] young girls wanting to be noticed. Not surprisingly, these pants have caught on in Asia; but hell, you can buy used panties in vending machines.

If anyone tries to peg me as being too conservative, you can eat a pair of these.  My stance is having a standard of self respect is the better option that flaunting my ass to anyone with an eyeball.

Bikini Jeans


12 Comments so far
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Comment by Loxy

Wow, the horrendous-ness that is the bikini jean. WTF? What were they thinking when they designed them!

Comment by fashionpraddict

This will be popular across the street from the Penthouse in yaletown

Comment by quentin

Sweet jesus. Who did this???

Also it looks like there’s a camel toe just waiting to happen there the minute the wearer does something that a normal human would do, like walking.

Comment by Smath

Is there a site that sells this crap? I can only imagine what other treats they offer.


Comment by dm

my husband says im going to get my ass kicked one day because i can be somewhat of a bitch to, well, girls who would wear those i guess, and i think that those may finally be the laugh out loud i can’t control that gets me into trouble so i really hope i never ever see those on anyone. unless i am at the five.

Comment by gusgreeper

@gusgreeper I know, hey? I’m sure skanky tweens have swarm power, but with careful methods they can be taken down

Comment by Victoria Potter

hahaha! aww man, this is a sign of the apocalypse.

Comment by christian


what is this world coming to?!!!!!

Comment by seokone

those would not look good on anyone any bigger than the model.
heck, they don’t even look good on her.

Comment by Paige

This post was relevant back in 2005 when whale tails were in.

Comment by Jared

They look pretty awful, why not stick with a normal pair of skinny jeans? Strange.

Comment by cheapclothesrule

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