10 Ways To Guarantee You Look Inappropriate At Work

This post is definitely inspired by some of the messes I’ve seen in my workplace.  Do you sit by a woman with a skirt so short it redefines “mini”? Perhaps a fellow who insists on making sure you know that your opinion means less than his because the message is written on the front of his faded black t-shirt? If so, pass this list on to the needy!

  1. Wearing skirts or shorts that are too short.  Nobody wants to see the thighs of their co-worker, covered by tights or not.  I don’t care if you’re 18 or 38; this one is an extreme no-no.
  2. Having inappropriate messages on your clothing.  This includes all scantily clad bodies, free beer t-shirts, joke shirts you thought were funny while drunk and so on. 
  3. Sporting sheer fabrics.  This is just one large “no”, especially if you are of a “healthy” weight; nobody wants to see your womanly curves, so cover up.
  4. Baring cleavage.  This goes for guys and gals; nobody wants to see the crevasse of your breasts, no matter how ragingly hot you think you look.  Besides the idecency factor, you may wind up with “the crack of doom” as a nickname (this is rooted in a true story, folks).
  5. Wearing gangsta threads.  I get that you want to have some faux-cred under these flourescent bulbs, but please.  Keep all G-Unit clothing locked away while in a work environment!
  6. Sporting activewear.  This includes all Lululemon itself, its clones and any sort of yoga clothing you may have.  If you would jog in it, keep it at home.
  7. Showing off your hooker heels.  Keep those five inch wedge or dominatrix inspired monstrosities at home.  You’re not fixing to walk the streets, so keep those hooker heels at home!
  8. Ripped or tattered clothing.  This just screams that you don’t care enough to suppress your inner grunge for 8 hours.  Though your shredded jeans may be forecasted to hit the cool list again this Spring ’09, keep them at home.
  9. Wearing blankets.  OK, you would think this is a no-brainer, but apparently not.  If you’re cold, bring an extra cardie or a plush jacket; don’t look like you’re about to go for nappy time.
  10. Wearing inappropriate footwear.  I know this may seem redundant to the hooker heel bit, but I’m addressing all you heinous croc and thong sandal wearers.  This is not professional attire, it’s leisure attire (if that).  Remember, anything you would garden in or wear to the beach is out.

12 Comments so far
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While I think that a lot of this needed to be said, it doesn’t account for more casual work environments.

Actually, it’s possible that maybe I’m just one of the dorks guilty of some of these, or maybe I think I’m cool enough to defend my right to wear my sweatpants and inappropriate t-shirts to the office. I’m not sure which.

Comment by Jordan

@Jordan: Well, yeah, though casual doesn’t need defining. Your sweat pants seem to do that well enough already 😛

Comment by Victoria Potter

Burn! 😉

Comment by dm

so its generally unacceptable to wear sheer fabrics if youre thin (or unhealthy, if you prefer) but especially not if you are of “healthy weight”? um, ok.

also, i think that sheer fabrics can be done correctly, as long as were not talking pants, and ALL the necessary bits are covered. maybe its just me.

otherwise, yes, agreed.

Comment by j.

@J I should have been clearer that this was an example of an unfortunate experience of mine. Certain fabrics are not appropriate for work (since they generally tend to be sheer over the chest area), sheer being one of them; no matter if you’re 90 or 290 lbs.

I do take offense to your comment that thin people are unhealthy, though. By putting ‘healthy’ in quotations, I was poking fun at society which seems to tell us to embrace every shape besides that of a thin girl/boy. Perhaps my jokes are too subtle.

Comment by Victoria Potter

im offended that you seem to think wearing sheer fabrics is somehow WORSE or even more unacceptable (in the workplace, anyways) if you are of a “healthy” weight. you seem to be making reference to someones body size and/or weight, perhaps using this word as a synonym for someone who is more full figured (or even just AVERAGE), especially because you then you on to talk about “womanly curves”. (again, i can only assume that is what you meant; if not, then disregard my posts)
the way it reads to me is “if youre fat, its worse”.

thin people being unhealthy is kind of what you are insinuating, seeming as “healthy” people are more prone to “womanly curves”; you are implying that those without said womenly curves are the opposite…whats the opposite of healthy? unhealthy…according to the word YOU chose.

so, its a joke to embrace every shape of person?

what, exactly, is a healthy weight, in your opinion?

Comment by j.

@j – yes, it is a joke to embrace every shape of person.

especially if that person is wearing sheer clothing. ugh.

Comment by jen k.

@j – What ever shape or weight you are, get over yourself!


Comment by bobbydassler

@J: It’s a fact of life that some styles are not meant to be worn by those of a certain body type, end of story.

I’m not for obesity (which is terribly unhealthy), but I’m not going to get into a debate this with you.

Also, not like it’s any of your business, but I am 6ft / 130 lbs, and I think that’s just dandy.

Comment by Victoria Potter

-apparently- my last post was too strongly worded, as it seems to have been deleted without explanation (you obviously have my email address).

to put it simply, i think youre use of the word “healthy” is somewhat reckless. i dont feel it is right to classify people as “healthy”, and thus, as i said earlier, the opposite would then be “unhealthy”. i honestly dont see the joke.
im sure that not everyone will agree, obviously, but my sentiment is that if youre going to be involved in some kind of fashion media, you have a certain responsibility to try to promote sound body-perceptions. i know its not youre job, and maybe it doesnt concern you at all, but its something that i think is important.

hey bobby, i think im over myself.

also, to jen k, if you think thats funny, eating disorders must be hilarious!

Comment by j.

What can I say, I’m just a reckless blogger who realizes that certain types of clothing isn’t appropriate for some people. Dear me!

I find you thinking I have a responsibility to promote sound body perceptions fairly funny though, good one.

If you’re so passionate about all this, create your own outlet and stop raining on mine.

Comment by Victoria Potter

for fucks sake fatty, get over it. its a fashion blog.

Comment by k

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