11 Style Offenses Women Should Never Commit (In No Particular Order)
March 10, 2008, 8:41 pm
Filed under: 2008, Women's Fashion | Tags: , , , , ,

As a follow up to my shit list for men, it’s only fair that I now make one for the opposite gender.

  1. Pants that create muffin tops. Yeah…you know the ones. These are usually low riders, and create an overflowing layer of fat and skin. Consider this a reminder: this is not an attractive look!
  2. “Mom” jeans. Even if you are a mom, there is no reason to put this visual hell upon your body. It creates a ponch, need I say more?
  3. The femullet. Unfortunatley, in the office I work in I see many cases of the fe-mullet. I’m not saying we can’t take what was awesome from the 80s and update it for today, but this one is the death of style having a party on the back of your head.
  4. Crocs. This beast made it on both the men’s list and the women’s. Never, ever ever EVER wear these in public.
  5. Tracksuits. Nothing says ‘lazy highschooler’ louder than a tracksuit; even if you’re in your mid 30s.
  6. Bras with transparent straps. Close your eyes and imagine clear plastic peeking out from under a tank top. Enough said.
  7. Cheap faux fur. Faux fur can be done well, but when you’re wearing a cheaply manufactured veriatey (complete with curling and matting) your item looks like it came from the reject bin at Value Village.
  8. Fancy wellies. These boots are beyond cuteness or a lolita look, they’re just plain silly.
  9. Matching your dog’s outfit with your own. Really, dressing your dog in anything is a crime (those poor beasts!), but when outfits co-ordinate is when things really start to go down hill.
  10. Thong sandals. These are OK if you’re poolside or at the beach, but don’t expect to look at all fashionable if you’re sporting a gross dime store pair of these out and about. Sandals like these with a heel are especially offensive!
  11. The VPL. No matter what you’re wearing, it can be instantly obliterated by the sight of a VPL. Always, always, always wear appropriate skivvies!

There are so many others, but those are the top offenders. Does anyone have a few horrendous favourites of their own? Share, share, share!

11 Style Offenses Women Should Never Commit (In No Particular Order)


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