11 Things Men Should Never Wear (In No Particular Order)

Needless to say, not every fashion crime made it to the worst offenses list. Below are all on my personal male style shit lists. These should not be worn by any persons under any circumstance.

    • Message/joke shirts. Yeah, I know you got that shirt from that conference last year, or you want everyone to know that the person to your left is an idiot. Put it away! In an age of [seemingly] declining intelligence, the last thing you want is to broadcast various toilet humor or sponsor ads.
    • Socks and sandals. Leave this one for when you’re old, senile and can’t see. Nothing broadcasts a bad fashion choice quite like this classic. If you don’t want people seeing your feet or it’s too cold, you could always wear a shoe with full foot coverage.
    • Clothing that is far too big, or too small. Trust me, wearing a shirt one size too small to accentuate your man-curves does not appeal. This broadcasts that you either don’t care about your appearance enough to buy clothes that fit, or are possibly a mimbo.
    • Saggy pants. Nothing spells “catch” like 5 inches of boxer short for all on the street to see. Invest in a belt, boys, and pants that actually fit your waist!
    • Jerseys. We (the public) gets you like <insert your sport of choice here>. However, there is no reason one should be sporting a jersey when not playing said sport.
    • Crocs. There is no reason that any person, male or female, should wear these outside of your garden. Enough said. No matter what embellishments or adjustments are made to this model, these will remain the worst choice in footwear one can possibly make.
    • Thong sandals. These are the cheapest and most abused footwear known to human beings. If you are off the beach, don’t wear them! If I had even the smallest of change for every time I’ve seen a pair of nasty five dollar sandals on someone in the city, I could party with some rich bitches.

      11 Things Men Should Never Wear (In No Particular Order)


      9 Comments so far
      Leave a comment

      you bet your fucking ass you left my moccasins out of this!!!11!!!!1one!!11

      Comment by ajax

      I usually try to stay away from harping on boy style, as long as it’s reasonably inoffensive, but you know, this is a list I can get on board with. A-fuckin-MEN.

      Comment by Ariane

      i am going to put on all these things at once (maybe carry some of them) and come attack you

      Comment by josh

      Thong sandals? Really? Most men’s regular sandals look like they were designed with socks in mind, so thongs (assuming they’re not foot-stained, etc) seem like a fine summer alternative to me.

      I’d nominate the hoodie-blazer combo as a replacement.

      Comment by Eric

      @Eric: I was referring to the very cheap fall-apart veriatey. There are some nice thong sandals, but not many I’ve seen have ventured to invest in a nice pair.

      Comment by Victoria Potter

      I have to disagree with #1 – conference shirts and other geeky tshirts are adorable on boys 🙂

      So, tshirts -geeky tees
      =ok? 😀

      Comment by Alexa Booth

      ahh! I totally agree with EVERYTHING! I HATE crocks! Another sin I see WAY too often is girls wearing jeans that are TOO faded in the butt and have diamonds are over the pocks or along the side seam. Ironically these jeans are usually TIGHT flares- flare jeans are out ladies! And pick a denim thats ALL ONE COLOR!

      Comment by rachelekehler

      Thanks Potter. Mostly common sense, but too many of us grew up around women who weren’t nice enough to tell us that we looked like knobs.

      Let the record show that I wore the Hawaiian shirt to the NV opening night because we were in the tiki room and I wouldn’t be able to get away with it in any other context

      Comment by Greg

      @Greg: nobody’s calling anyone else a knob!

      Comment by Victoria Potter

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